The Devine Chronicles

I found out yesterday that Mam has between three weeks to three months to live. Apparently the radiotherapy is having no effect on the cancer. Also they are unable to remove the tumour as it is wrapped around veins in her lung, which also is causing her to be short of breath.

The doctors called in the members of my family to explain the situation. A very emotional time for all. As far as Mam is concerned she still thinks she has six months to a year left, not sure if we should tell her as it might make it worse for her.

Dad is talking of giving up work to look after her but I reckon his boss will let him take as much time off as needed and Mark is talking about taking compassionate leave etc to help out. I’m not sure what to do. I want to help but I can’t take three months off. I think what I’ll do is take off time as it draws near and just be there for her as much as I’m able.

Mark is talking about introducing his girlfriend Samantha (who only found out about Mam the other day) to Mam but he wants to be sure if she’s the one first. Poor Ruth is in bits as being the only girl in the family its falling on her to help Mam with her baths etc. I think of all of us it’ll hit her the hardest as she is with Mam everyday.

Mam is getting out of hospital this Thursday but will probably be back in sooner than she thinks as she weakens more. St. Luke’s and the Irish Cancer Society are supposed to be sending out “home help” and counsellors etc to help us thru it.

She looks really frail these days, I never noticed before as she usually wears quite a bit but she now looks like she escaped from Auschwitz. Her legs and arms are like sticks and I can encircle her arm with my hand!

This has all happened so fast, she was only admitted to Luke’s on Friday and already so much as happened. I think it all finally hitting us. I know it has me.

Its weird. I was sitting in the hospital with Mam and I had Daragh with me when I got a very stronge case of Déjà Vu and suddenly it hit me this was like the time I was visiting Mam’s Dad on his death-bed in hospital as a kid. Back in ‘73/’74 Mam brought me with her when she visited her Dad and here I was with Daragh visiting Mam, the only difference is Daragh is too young to remember Mam but I have a vague memory of my granddad. I feel really sad for Daragh and Sam that they’ll never know Mam unlike Alex who should remember as he is two now. Alex will really miss Mam as they get on like a house on fire getting her cigs for her without being asked etc.

Thanks to my friend RicTresa for the banner on this blog. Ric is a talented graphic artist and if you get the time check out his work at: http://home.comcast.net/~rictresa/index1.html

Now all I have to do is figure out how to make it sit right. Unfortunately I don’t know html but it is something I’d be interested in learning about.